Home made Mac & Cheese

When I was at church today I was so hungry all I could think about is what I should make for lunch. When I got home I found my new neighbors moving in. I asked them if they needed help and they said "sure!" So I went to change helped them move in and when I got home I was going to attempt the impossible and cook something.

Well here I am heating up some milk until it boiled then while is was boiling I decided to throw in all of the shredded cheese I just cut. Well it started to get really lumpy but it smelled good! As I was cooking I remembered My mother always putting flour in her cheese sauces. So I went ahead and added a couple spoon fulls of flour to the boiling cheese and milk. After looking at the consistency of the sauce... I briefly thought that there is no way I am going to be able to eat this. I mean it was full of lumps the oil from the cheese was separated. It looked as if I had just threw Pac-man into a pan and threw in his white ghosty friends too.

So after dumping it out and thinking it would be cereal on the menu. I thought I would google a recipe for cheese sauce. I found this video. http://video.about.com/cheese/Cheddar-Cheese-Sauce.htm

So I decided to try again here is the result

Misty's funeral

http://www.funeralrecording.com/index.cfm?pageid=225&Name=Misty Andrews

If you wish to listen to the service.

Winning the Battle!

Have you ever lost everything you ever hoped and dreamed for in one day? It’s ok if you haven't but it happens every day. Well I had one of those days where I kind of lost everything. But it is ok right? Exactly! Everyone should know this one thing and believe this: All things will be restored that were lost. Well I have a story to tell you. It is a story told by an ant (insect no misspelling) now how is that possible you ask? It’s not like it was talking to me or anything, it was purely taught through example. Some of you know I have been battling ants in my basement as of late and they have been some quite humorous stories in my eyes. But this story is to be taken seriously.

One day I was while I was a child I was watching an ant crawl along the sidewalk weaving back and forth going to whatever destination it desired. When I decided to put something in its way, Of course it paused for a minute and then went around it and soon was heading toward where it was going again. So I decided to make it harder for the ant and put a few more things in its way and around it too. It took a little longer but still managed to get free and on to where it was going. I thought I would put a leaf on it. It lifted it up and off of it as well of many other things I put on top of it and continued on its way.

When I got home tonight I was reminded of this, and I thought I have to be like this little ant! Something so tiny and seems to be so insignificant can teach me so much! I know that whatever comes my way I just have to go around, pick it up and move it and move forward. There is no way I am going to forget Misty because she is not gone! For all I know she’s the one helping me type this. I just know there is so much good out there in this world to just give up. Yes I am lonely; yes I hurt and still have to cry sometimes. But I am only being made stronger. I hope people see my point that I am making. I have not been getting the rest I need because I have not been going to bed until late and waking very early.

I have been a person who learns from others experiences and I hope that I might be able to teach someone else through mine. But most of all, allow you that chance to learn from the spirit. He is the ultimate teacher. I am just a servant.

To my Friends and Family

Today I was riding my bike home from work, checked the mail then headed home. When I arrived home I started to clean up zoey's landmines in the back. During this peaceful time oddly enough I couldn't help but think of all those who have been helping me get through this. Shortly after I went inside my doorbell rang and a friend decided to stop by and see how I was doing and if there was anything she could do to help out. After she left, another friend called to invite me over to dinner.

This has been a constant theme since Misty was in the hospital. I have never been one to accept help and I am sorry for that. I am so grateful for such great people in my life. The very thought of the love that I feel from each of you pierces my core deep into my heart. (If you can’t tell I am beginning to cry but I can’t help it.) I never knew how much people love us. I mean from everything to cleaning my house to doing my laundry taking me out to eat bringing me food stopping by to say "hi" having me over for dinner. Sending cards and writing letters. It has never stopped and I am so grateful. With all of this bad in my life I have never felt so loved in my life! I hope you all know that! It is because of each and every one of you that I am still here and able to stand on my own 2 feet.

I never knew how much death can affect someone until this. I hope that no one would ever have to experience this. But we all must go through it. I just want you to know that when you do I WILL be there for you just like you have been for me. Thank you all so much. My sincerest thank you will never been enough to repay what you have done for me.

Still Hanging in there

25 days ago my life changed forever. How can it be real? No matter how busy I stay, I must still face the reality that my Wife and Son are away.

I started to write on this then later decided It was getting too personal and needed to copy it in my journal instead. So you know I wrote a conversation with Misty and thanked her for somethings that she had me do with the baby. like kiss her belly and hold her until I would feel him. But I noticed I was typing to Misty and not to the blog.

I want everyone to know that I thank each and everyone of you that has helped me through this time in our lives. I could not do it with out the prayers and the love that has been shown to me and my family. Words can not tell the great loss we all feel right now. I love you all thank you again.

I really do mean the things I say on here. I hope you all know that. I do feel it a priviledge to share our life with you. but you all must know I need to hold things sacred to me and my wife and disclose them when the spirit prompts me to do so.

I do love to read the responses that are on this, Facebook, and the obiturary thanks to everyone who contributed and will in the future.

I will post again soon.

Misty's Flowers

After Misty passed. I went to my Sister's house for a nap I later went over to my house to take a shower. When we got there I thought that someone left two planters on our front flower bed. When Lonni and I went to see them. They were our own flowers which misty and I planted this year and they bloomed for the first time. When I saw them I tried to have everyone see them. Not everyone could but I took pictures so here you go! We hope you like them! We worked really hard on our yard this year.

(Before: when we first bought the house)

we just had a bunch of rocks and broken concrete in the front so ugly!

(before we planted this year)


(After we planted)

The veil is thin.

I wanted to share some experiences I had during the time of Misty's passing, and testify of what I know to be true. I should tell anyone reading this first that if you lack in faith, please try to exercise an ounce of it at this time and try to believe what I am about to tell you. I do this now because often we feel closer to God when we are at loss. This is a true principle, God lets us experience pain and sorrow so that we cry out for him. Not all of us talk to him as much as we should.

Many of you know that I am a faith filled man, and I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter saints. I am not preaching to anyone, I am letting you know of my experience with Misty. What I want from those who do not believe there is an afterlife or those who are not sure. To please, open up their hearts to my experience and try to exercise some belief.

I KNOW that our Father in heaven is REAL! And his son Jesus Christ atoned for our transgression while he ministered on this earth. I knew these things before this happened to Misty. I want you to know that I did not gain this knowledge because of the suffering I am going through. I found out by asking our Father in heaven.

You can too; Jesus is knocking only you can let him in.

When Misty first died Saturday morning, I was hysterical and my heart felt as if it was pulled out and trampled upon. After I left pioneer hospital and was heading to IHC hospital I began to feel the love of our Heavenly father poor out for me. I felt a love between my wife and I grow 100 fold. Never in my life had I felt that way about her. It is a perfect love, a love without boundaries. I was able to feel her around me. I knew when she got to the hospital and did not see. Someone walked in and told me and I already knew. We had a meeting with the doctors about the baby and as we left I asked if Misty was in a room behind me and I was able to point exactly where she was. This does not just happen because of coincidence, One day molecules don’t decide to make you feel things. These feelings are real and you have them almost every day whether you choose to acknowledge them or not is your own choice.

My wife's funeral program was not of my design ether. Through the power of the Holy Ghost Misty was able to show me exactly what she wanted me to do. My wife is a very good planner, I am not. If you ever heard the term if you want things done then you have to do it yourself. That is what Misty did, I committed myself to doing the program but I did not have to make them. The night after she died I was showering thinking of the plans for the next day when this vision of the program came to my mind, instantly I knew just what she wanted and I said out loud to her as if she were right there and told her "that will be cute babe" the next morning I felt as if she we dragging me out of bed to get started because I really had no Idea how little time I would have to work it. She really did design the best program I had ever seen. It literally is a work of art in my eyes. She let me pick the pictures and the words but she knew where everything should be. This made it easier on me to do the rest of it. I told Jer her brother that she always got the towel for me when I would shower I am going to miss that. Bless her heart she has reminded me each time to grab one.

I know that these things are small and simple. But it is by small and simple things that faith is built.

You, the one who is reading this, the person I felt prompted to talk to you about this, I know with all my heart that this did happen to me. It is real I cannot deny this for fear I would be struck down by the lord himself. I say this because I love you. Start your path to faith, I know it hurts now but there is comfort is knowing. Pray now ask him if he is real; ask him if what I say is true. He will answer you. He does not speak how we do but he speaks with love. Not everyone hears a voice or has a extreme story they just feel the love that he has for them and you will find comfort in these words because he loves you.

All the good we fight for here is worth it in the end.

A few more

Just a few pictures