Thursday, April 17, 2008

Vent.. Having a hard time...

So today I come to work and this lady who I work with is talking about her sister who is 24 and just had her 6th child.. YES.. I said 6th. Let me also say that this girl from what I hear is not the best girl. She had her other children taken away from her (She has them back now) and she is on drugs (hopefully was on drugs and not on drugs throughout the pregnancy) and is on states assistance. SO today my friend is talking about how her sister just had baby #6 at 24 weeks weighing 1 pound 8 ounces. Then I sit here... Trying to have a kid. I have the house and the desire to be able to provide for children yet I cannot get pregnant. What the heck is up with this? This morning I was almost in tears and didn't want to be at work...

WHEN.. When will it be my time.. WHEN... :( Hopefully some day soon.

Sorry.. I just had to get this out as it has been bugging me all morning. I know that I keep saying after August we will continue to go and see the doctor.. But do you want to know something? If I happened to get PG before August I would be thrilled...

One day. One day...

3 comments:

Taylor's said...

Misty,

It is extremely frustrating when you can't get pregnant. Not only have I experienced that but then I think of all my friends that have tried for years and then adopted and are happy.

Don't get yourself down; just remember it is NEVER on our time that we are blessed with children it is on HIS time. And yes, I know it feels like some are more blessed than others in this area but believe me it will be well worth the wait for both you and Jake.

To be completely honest, if we would have gotten pregnant when we wanted to with Kate; she probably would not have made it here healthy or alive for that fact. The Lord knew that I would need lots of help (and that is kind of an understatement) so that Jeff could continue to provide for the family and we just had to wait until all of that was in place in order for Kate to be here healthy. Thinking back on the frustration of the situation now, it is just really minor compared to Kate's HUGE smile and laughs now!

We will continue to pray for your family; just remember it is a blessing NO MATTER WHEN OR HOW children are placed in your family!

We love you; and yes, I totally understand your venting and frustration! (and don't feel bad you feel this way, you are human)

Amelia said...

Oh Misty, how I know exactly what that feels like. I'm so sorry friend. It flat out sucks to hear about people who we think would be rotten parents being able to pop kids out left and right, and not have our most fervent and sincere, and frankly deserving prayers answered. Todd and I are true testament that it's in the Lord's hands. Slim comfort that is when you are in the thick of it, I know.

Please don't allow yourself to become embittered though. It's easy to do, and will happen little by little if you aren't watchful. It is a hard wait, and easily the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. But it. will. happen. By one way or another, eventually. I promise.

In the mean time, think and dream, and prepare and plan and hope, and love all the little children in your life now (like I know you do!) and take comfort in knowing that God IS listening, and WILL answer your prayer, just maybe not in the time or way you thought. My sweet Oliver is living proof.

The Snells said...

I know exactly what you mean!!! I am so tired of people telling me to just relax and stop thinking about it so much and it will happen. I am always here if you need to vent about this! Unfortunately I know all too well about this infertility world you are living in. I am definately not a religious person like your other two friends that commented here but I do think that we are having problems for a reason, I dont know that reason yet, but I am sure in time we will know. I also know if we cannot have children we can always adopt.You and I will be moms one day! Keep your chin up and keep trying, maybe one day we will have baby bellies together :)