Monday, October 4, 2010

Hello again, Hello.

What does it take to be a man?

That is something us "men" have to ask ourselves from time to time. Many of us don't and often overlook our responsibilities and forget our purpose in life.

I love conference time, it always gives me a chance to reflect on the person who I should be. I really have a long way to go from where I know I should be. I currently have a picture of Christ that sits on my self where my personal computer is. I have it there as a reminder of things I should remember and the covenants I have made with him when I am using my computer. One thing I have noticed about the picture is that the continuance on the face of the savior seems to change depending on the way my life is going at the time. There are times when I look at his face and it looks as if he is disappointed in my actions, and other times like tonight that he looks like my advocate with the father and that together we can do anything. I want everyone to know that reads this blog and knows who I am to know that I have a love for our savior that is unique and has and a special bond I feel that will never end. I KNOW that he is real and that he died for our sins.

So the man's, Man... The man himself is Christ no doubt about it. But time and time again we are told to be like him and most of us don't always follow that council. In fact most of us men do not even try at all. I know I fall short quite a bit. But that's the thing we are given new chances time again to prove ourselves to become better. I want to rededicate myself once again to becoming more like Christ. And I have to start now.

I need to start by becoming a better husband and father, I have found that I am able to lose my patience so much faster that I normally would. Once I felt that I could handle kids, wife and a dog. I find myself loosing my temper with my dog more and more and getting extremely stressed around children. It kind of worries me that I no longer have the patience that I once had. I need to look to the ultimate example and overcome this shortcoming of mine.

So now move on to even more personal stuff... Where am I on the path of remarriage... My honest answer is I have no idea. I want nothing more than to be happy married, but I cannot produce a relationship that can have total happiness. I am so grateful to know friends that can understand that. I know I am very capable of being able to but just not at this time. So why date? I ask myself that a lot, I hope that by dating I am able to learn something I need to know for my future relationship if that happens. I have learned so much from the people I have met that there is no way I could of on my own. So I trudge along hoping that one day it will just click.

I say that I will write in this more often but I find that more and more I just forget or get too busy and it has been months since I have written. I try to make it inspiring to my readers so that they can leave knowing something that they did not know before or thought of something a new way. I hope that one day the right person will stumble upon my writings and it will change their life for the better. If it was not so late I would write more but it is 1:00AM and I need to get to bed. I love you all thanks for reading.